So I do what I've always done in this kind of situation... call the travel agent. Except our new agent apparently sucks, and wasn't answering the phone. How use
I did notice that there was a 3:30 flight to IAH that was still showing as on-time... haul-ass to the airport, get inside to find a *huge* line for COA ticket agents... and nice little printouts over each kiosk saying something about WX in Houston. So basically they were making everyone stand in line. Thank god I'm silver... (though I guess it makes sense, since according to FlightAware the only COA flights out of AUS are to IAH).
So now I'm guessing my odds of getting to SAN tonight (which I really needed to do) are about 0, so I called my boss, hoping for some damn after-hours number for the travel agent. He finally suggested I call the COA elite number, which I hadn't actually thought about (since this is what I pay travel agents for). Luckily they were able to get me on a NW flight. Was a bit of a pain that I had to go to the NW ticket counter to get ticketed (with the dreaded SSSS), but at least I'll make it to SAN tonight... and it's looking like I'm upgraded on the MSP-SAN segment.
Now I just have to see if my coworker can pick up the training manuals...